• Donae

The Struggles of Being a Stay-at-Home Mom

Are you currently a stay-at-home mom? Are you currently feeling alone or frustrated with what it involves? Well, I'm here to shed the light on a topic that is so often hidden but needs to be brought to the surface.


I am here to help you to navigate what it means to be a stay-at-home mom and to also give you simple tools that you can use, to become better at it.


First, let me identify what it means to be a stay-at-home mom.


A stay-at-home mom is a person who has made a decision to leave the working world in order to be there for her family, mentally, emotionally, and physically.


Now I will help you to understand more about this role and also provide you with the emotional support that you may need to get started on this journey, whether you just started transitioning out or need reassurance that you're on the right path.


What are some of your thoughts about being a stay-at-home mom? I would love to hear about them. Please feel free to share your own experiences or ask your questions or concerns in our FORUM section. I will be happy to help you!


A stay-at home mom and her child
THE STRUGGLES OF BEING A STAY-AT-HOME MOM


1. FULL-TIME COMMITMENT

Being a stay-at-home mom is a FULL-TIME commitment. It requires 100% of your time on a daily basis, especially if you decide to cater to your kids outside of daycare. It's not an easy role to take on by any means necessary, however, it is absolutely an important one.


Being a stay-at-home mom is a selfless commitment to be there for your family mentally, emotionally, and physically.


It requires you to also be committed not only for the short term but for a long time depending on the stage and age of your growing kids. It's a sacrifice to be able to do that and also to be able to be confident in your decision to take on that role.


Not everyone is ready or even equipped to take on this challenge. It could be for any reason that a person cannot assume this responsibility. However for whatever reason that you choose to take this responsibility on, be confident in your decision, and don't regret it one bit. There should absolutely be no regret whatsoever if you truly desire to take on this role.


Confidence as a stay-at-home mom is definitely going to be your biggest fan. Don't ever let anyone take that away from you.


The reason why I say confidence is going to be your biggest fan is that everyone will have an opinion about your choice to leave your career, and you're going to have to be strong and confident enough to say, "I did the right thing for my family." Be ok with that!


For more information on transitioning from a working mom to a stay-at-home mom, visit my blog post on:



2. NOT EASY

Nobody ever said that being a stay-at-home mom would be easy. If you know of someone who has said that, I would love to meet them. It's absolutely not an easy role to take on and is therefore only for those who truly feel it's a part of their goal, mission, or plan to do so. You really can't force a person to do something that their not comfortable with and therefore give the working moms a bit of a break as well.


Some women don't feel the need to take on that role, and that's absolutely ok. Be reminded that everyone has their own destiny or purpose, especially with motherhood.


However, if for any reason, you felt led to take on this role, no matter what your circumstances are, be ok with that decision. Also, be at peace with knowing that it's not an easy job to do either. It's ok to admit that and breathe a bit. I felt the same way too, so no worries whatsoever.


Just as with every job, we need to see how best we can create the balance we need in order to be our best selves in this role as well. With time, it will smooth itself out.


For more information on self-care for moms visit my blog post on:



3. WORTH IT

This is one area of my life no matter how challenging I found the shift to be that I will never regret. I will never regret spending the amount of time and energy I did being with my children for the majority of their lives.


As much as we may talk about the challenges of this role, we should also congratulate ourselves for taking it on. It's so worth it, at every angle that you can think about it. You get to be readily involved in shaping and molding these kids into the future leaders of tomorrow. You get to see more of the moments that just happen right before your eyes. You get to experience in detail all that motherhood has to offer.


Therefore don't ever think that you're wasting your life or self away because you choose to walk into that role. Be confident in the decision that you made to be there for your family, mentally, emotionally, and physically.


That to me is worth a lifetime of cherished memories that nobody can ever take away.


Therefore if the "naysayers" come to discourage you, keep your perspective alive and don't feed into theirs. You did what was best for your family at the time, and it's so worth the sacrifice.


If you've ever met a mother who regrets being a stay-at-home mom after so many years of doing just that, I would love to meet them. I'm yet to see one. I more hear of not having sacrificed more for my children in the book of regrets that people often talk about.


Kids do remember and are very aware of the impact we have on their lives, even into adulthood. They do recall, whether for the good or the not-so-good memories.


So be at peace, you have what it takes to gracefully live in this role as a stay-at-home mom.


For encouragement on your journey through motherhood, visit my blog post on:



4. NON-NEGOTIABLE

There are two things in life that I like to classify as negotiable and non-negotiable. What are yours?


For me, raising my children with flexibility was non-negotiable. I wanted to be present more often in their lives to help them to navigate through as best as I could.


I wanted to be present at their first day of school, teacher conferences, swim practice, and also bedtime. I wanted to truly be involved in their lives, no matter what, and I felt the need to do so very often.


I had that unction for a very long time and I made that request non-negotiable to the point of sacrificing my doctoral career as a Pharmacist to be able to meet that deep desire of mine.


I don't know if you have a desire similar to mine, but if you do, take it seriously and don't push it away lightly. That desire is real and can really fight you later on in life with some regrets that you don't want.


Be aware of it, and just know that it's okay to feel that way. It's actually quite normal and that's ok. If it's a non-negotiable thing for you, then it's your decision to make about what's best for you and your family.



5. GETS BETTER WITH TIME

Like with so many things in life, such as your first child, first job, and many other firsts, it gets better with time.


Give yourself time to evolve in your role as a stay-at-home mom. Be accepting of your role and also don't ever feel like you're going to get it perfect right off the bat.


In fact, you won't. You will question yourself, second guess yourself and even convince yourself to go back to work.


I can save you the time and effort by saying it's ok, give yourself plenty of time and a lot of saving grace to get it together. No perfection is needed right away. In time, however, things will smooth out and get easier. You will also find the necessary tools and resources needed to help you to be your best self.


For more helpful tools, visit my blog post on:



6. PROVIDES STABILITY

I don't know if it's only me, but I do have a "love-and-hate" relationship with daycare based on my past experiences. Don't get me wrong there are some great daycares out there that can really be the best for your children.


However, for me, the inconsistencies of child care and the often revolving doors for caretakers were so overwhelming! Until daycares decide to better take care of their staff and provide them with the necessary tools and resources needed to be better caretakers, there will always be instability.


I didn't want that for my kids at all. Rather, I secretly despised the system and wanted to take them out of it. At the time, however, I was still transitioning from my career as a Pharmacist. After my transition, however, coupled with the covid-19 pandemic I was pushed into transitioning a lot quicker into this role.


Yes, like most first-time stay-at-home moms, I had to "iron out the kinks" at the beginning, but afterward, I was able to create the balance that I needed in order to be better at my role. It provide me with the stability that I needed coming from a past toxic work-life balance to finally finding stability at home with my family.



7. FOSTERS FAMILY BONDING

Being a stay-at-home mom fosters family bonding. Don't get me wrong, bonding is not just dependent on whether you chose to work or not, it doesn't. What I mean is that this situation helps to foster family bonding and interaction.


It provides that, because you're mostly around your children, interacting and engaging with them on a longer basis.


Therefore, you are presently seeing it all and doing it all with them, thereby creating a deeper level of interaction with your kids.


For more activities to do with kids, visit my blog posts on:



8. OVERALL LONG-TERM SUCCESS

The benefits of being a stay-at-home mom will be worth it in the end. Remember, you have chosen to be there for your family, mentally, emotionally, and physically, for the long term. Be proud of that decision and celebrate your successful moments rather than the woes of a few rocky days in between.


Your children will benefit greatly from your commitment to their lives. Don't ever feel like you wasted your time, or rather let anyone diminish your role as a stay-at-home mom. It's not an easy job to do and it takes a lot of dedication to do it and follow through with it until the end.


So be accepting of your role and be thankful that you got to play an integral part in your child's developmental process. You raised your child to the best of your abilities and you did it sacrificially.


Overall I do hope that this blog post has encouraged you to be proud of who you are and the role you took on to be a stay-at-home mom. I do wish you the best of health and strength as you raise those wonderful kids, who will one day move into society and change the world.


Follow my Facebook, Instagram, or Pinterest @mommytobeandbeyond and Twitter @mom2bandbeyond to see exciting photos of our family activities together.


Did you find the strategies listed in this article helpful? What were some of your favorite tips? How have they worked for you? Leave a comment below, I’d love to know what you think.


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