Overcoming the hurdles and struggles of Motherhood
Updated: Aug 31, 2021
Moms work 24 HOURS in a day if you ask me. We are always on the run whether we are working moms, stay-at-home moms, working from mom, traveling moms, etc. Overcoming the hurdles and struggles of motherhood is nothing new.
Everyone has a story to tell, and we are all on a journey of writing it. I took on the challenge of comparing what I or most moms struggle with in motherhood and decided to write about it and to share my own experiences as well.
So how do we overcome the hurdles and struggles of motherhood? What has your experience been? Please feel free to ask your questions or concerns in our FORUM section. I would be happy to help you!
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“Motherhood is a rollercoaster journey of trials and error, not perfection!"
1. FEELING OVERWORKED
We are always feeling overworked as a mother whenever we have to take on the responsibility of being a mother. It's a part of the reality we face as moms each day. Feeling overworked, however, is something we may complain about but it doesn't have to be that way.
Take a general census of what is happening in your life at the moment and try to see exactly where the sense of being overworked comes from. For example is it the housework, taking care of the kids, food preparation?
Try to pinpoint the areas that create the most stress and then look at ways to reduce that particular area. Housework is a heavy stressor for many moms, especially trying to keep up with cleaning and laundry for example.
Look at ways to break it down into smaller tasks, like doing a little bit of folding each day for 30 minutes increments. If it's not done then wait for another day to continue. Trying to do all the laundry one time may seem overwhelming.
However, breaking it down into smaller time slots is more manageable. Housecleaning another task that moms tend to complain about can also be done in small increments each day. For example, keep the common areas clean with quick wipes each day instead of waiting for 1 day to do everything.
When that day arrives it is overwhelming to get it done. Keep cleaning up as you go especially right after meal preparations. If taking care of the kids may become overwhelming as well, try to communicate that with your partner or even close family members and see what ways they both can help to reduce any stress that you may feel.
2. NOT HAVING TIME FOR YOURSELF
As a mom, I can completely understand the feeling of not having enough time for yourself. Day in day out you may be constantly bombarded with the responsibilities of motherhood along with work, and household responsibilities as well.
Whether you are a stay-at-home mom or working mom etc, the challenges are the same no matter the situation. Finding time for yourself can sometimes be challenging and you may get stressed to the point of being frustrated.
In any given situation, I do believe that taking a needed break is far more productive than not taking one at all. The frustration can end up affecting your child or even your spouse.
So how do we find this break? Check what really is happening on your schedule. If you don't have a schedule, I think the first step in organizing yourself is to have one so that you can make better use of your time each day.
Set a time for yourself, and put that first on the agenda. For example, the time I have for myself is early in the mornings before the kids awake.
I use that time for bible studies and journaling. By the time I start my day with the family, I am more energetic and less stressed. If I skip this step, I find it harder to get the day started.
Or you may pencil in 15-minute intervals throughout just to catch your breath for a moment. See what works for you and give it a try.
Read my blog post on A mom in need of a timeout. for ways to find time to do activities that you love.
3. NOT FEELING APPRECIATED
I completely understand that the role and responsibilities of a mom can be posted on a list that never ends. It just keeps going on and on. We are everything to our families, the doctor, teacher, negotiator, investigator, etc.
You get my point. At times therefore you may not feel appreciated for the many hats you wear as a mom. For some, it may be your children, or spouse, while for others it may be both.
This is how I have to look at it. It doesn't matter who appreciates what I do or don't do correctly. What matters most is if I have done my best. If I know that I did what I could and I didn't get appreciated for it then I am more than satisfied with not getting praised for it.
I have to be accepting of the fact that I may never get appreciation from anyone period as long as I live, but I am ok with that. A true feeling of satisfaction and appreciation comes from within.
Here are a few Mommy Inspired Quotes that can help you on your journey through motherhood!
4. NOT ENOUGH TIME IN A DAY
A day only has 24 hours, of which you are required to sleep through at least 8 of them. That would leave 16 hours to get your schedule accomplished. That doesn't include any mishaps or events that may change as you go throughout your day.
This is my recommendation. Have a list of your top priorities that must be accomplished in the day. It may be something like your son's pediatric appointment etc. Try not to be the mom who overscheduled everything to be done in one day, only to be frustrated when they only accomplished one of the 100 things listed.
If you know what are the most important top priorities then make sure that is accomplished first. Anything else in my opinion can wait until tomorrow. I am seriously talking about laundry or dishes. They can wait.
Planners offer a great solution to keeping organized as busy moms. The more organized you become, the better it is for you to manage your time well and get more work accomplished throughout your day. Check out my Mommy Inspired Planner available for you to download.
I also have available on my website a (Mommy Inspired Meal Planner - Bonus Toddler Meal Plan) to help you get started with meal planning.
5. NOT FEELING ACCOMPLISHED
I do understand some moms have felt like they have given up their careers or hobbies etc. to raise children and sometimes it may leave them feeling unaccomplished. Some are career-oriented moms that may have left the working world to raise their children.
This is my take on the meaning of accomplishment. Raising children is an accomplishment that only you have the responsibility to do it correctly. I have written that in one of my Mommy Inspired Quotes (check it out!). "You may regret the job you chased, but you will never regret the kids you raised".
Your children rely on you to help them grow to be responsible adults in the future. When you see your kids succeed in life, you will never forget the time, effort, and sacrifices that you have made in order to get them to where they need to be. Give yourself a pat on the back. It is so worth it!
Another activity that you can do in order to help with this is to have a gratitude journal. A gratitude journal helps you to focus on the greater things in life than the not-so-good things. Check out my Mommy Inspired Gratitude Journal, which can help you along the way!
Sometimes you may feel a bit, "humdrum", "bored", or even have "lost interest" in your day-to-day routines of motherhood. It can happen and it is totally normal. I myself have experienced it several times in every aspect of my journey whether as a stay-at-home mom, work-from-home mom, or a working mom.
I think the best way to change this experience is to create variety in your day. What I mean by variety is to mix up your activities as best as you can.
For example, I sometimes go park hopping with my kids during homeschooling to kind of change up my scenery when I can so that I am not bored doing the same thing each day. I may also work in different parts of the house if I am working from home etc.
Also visiting the library to work, if your job is flexible or the coffee shop etc. Try to change up your scenery a bit to help you get away from that effect. Even for working moms, do the same at work.
Maybe try eating outside under a tree one day at work, or going for walks, etc during lunchtime. Whatever may work for you try to mix it up a bit, so that the mundane feeling goes away.
7. WORRYING ABOUT HOUSEHOLD BILLS AND FINANCES
This is probably one of the biggest things that any family, in general, may struggle with day in day out. It doesn't matter whether you are high or low on the financial scale, worrying about finances happens for the majority of us.
My idea of helping to ease this situation a bit is to have a financial planner or journal, where you are able to write or record down everything you are doing with your finances as much as you can. Knowing what your incoming household income is compared to your outgoing household income, can help you to navigate better what can be rearranged to help offset any worries with bills, etc.
A planner is able to provide that for you and give you an overview of your monthly expenses. After having reviewed your expenses, you are more likely to make a realistic budget around them.
For example, you may have to cancel the $200 cable bill and do Netflix or cable streaming services for $30 instead, or just to cut down on expenses that may not be as important. This is just an example, but you do know what's best for your individual households.
8. NOT HAVING TIME FOR YOUR SPOUSE
I am exhausted by the time I get to the end of the day and still, it is time to put the kids to bed. My husband is home and I give him the side-eye. The eerie look of "don't even think about asking me for anything".
But we have to be aware that they too are a part of the family outside of the kids. They can't easily be bartered away, can they? So we have to be mindful of our spouses as well and to also tend to their needs. What time do I have you make ask? I see it this way.
Your marriage is first priority because it was established prior to having children. A spouse is there to help to support you in raising your children no matter what the responsibility is. I, therefore, challenge every mom to find that time to engage with your spouse so that you don't have the added stress of fighting with a spouse in addition to raising your children.
Finding the time for your spouse is therefore a top priority over the laundry as well. Communicating your struggles with your partner is far better than not saying anything at all.
They may also be able to help you with anything that you need if they knew about it ( I am guilty of that). I try to schedule time with my spouse prior to going to bed and right after the kids fall asleep, just to talk about nothing stress-related but more a time for understanding each person.
Date nights should also be of importance, as it helps to foster healthy relationships with your spouse beyond your responsibilities as a mom. Plan date nights when you can and try to find creative ways to have them, whether or not the kids are present.
9. TIRED AND EXHAUSTED
There are days when I just want to scream if I may not have accomplished most of what I had planned. But I have to remind myself time and time again to just brush it off, find the happiness in the time spent with my children and just laugh.
To help you to release much frustration as possible, find the most enjoyable things about the day and focus on that instead of the negative. For example, our nature walk with the kids was fun even though I may not have completed the math homework due.
Give yourself a BREAK! Today may have not been so perfect but joy still comes in the morning. Get up and try again the next day!
10. FEELING THAT YOU ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH
I have had my own moments during my parenting journey when I may feel like I am not good enough for my family. It can take a toll on you mentally and emotionally when you do feel this way.
What I have learned so far and still continue to learn is that there are no perfect parents. We are all on a journey of trial and error. I have caught myself several times comparing my parenting to others only to find out that they have their own struggles as well.
I am the mom who may struggle with comparing myself to the mother whose kid is already reading a book at 18 months (yes I know it's crazy!), while that same mother may be worried about her kid only eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches all day!
So how do I cope with this comparison? Get off of it! Quit doing it and be ok with what I am doing and learning as I grow. There is absolutely no perfect parent and I am positively ok with that.
What I do recommend however is being grateful for the children that I do have because I understand that there are really good moms and dads out there who are just waiting for children of their own, but are facing challenges with having them. So I switch gears instead and I move from the comparison rollercoaster to the gratitude waterslide. I think I like that better!
I do hope that this blog will help you to understand the importance of your journey in motherhood and to also realize that, you are never alone in your individual struggles.
We all have our moments, whether as a first-time mom or a grandmother. It never changes, so embrace who you are and learn on the journey as you go along. Try to see and acknowledge what your major stressors of motherhood are and then work from there to find ways to eliminate them.
Did you find the strategies listed in this article helpful? What were some of your favorite tips? How have they worked for you? Leave a comment below, I’d love to know what you think.
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