• Donae

Why dating when married with kids is important

I remember the days when we had no kids and we were "young" "wild" and "free" to explore life in its many facets by being adventurous as much as we could, and sleeping in when we wanted to. We called the "shots" for the most part.


Fast forward to our first child being born and suddenly we became engulfed with parenting a newborn. As we continued on our journey, the next baby came along. Now it was 4 of us.


Dating I admit used to be so important to us even after we got married. We enjoyed being out a lot and doing adventurous things. We were definitely not homebodies, and we do like to get out even with kids.


Now, I must confess, I can't even get a break sometimes with all the activities going on especially with these two adventurous boys of mine to even remember putting in some date nights.


It's not that we don't want to sneak out every now and then to enjoy being together, It's just that life sometimes consumes us and we forget to, and that's ok. But when we do catch a break, between our kids' activities and their classmates' birthday parties like every weekend, we need to get out and de-stress.


So I highly encourage couples to get back into the dating game just like in the "old" days every now and again and continue to build their relationship, because I do believe it will help with unity in their parenting journey.


Have you also noticed any differences in your relationships after having kids? What have you done in order to keep that going? Please feel free to also share your own ideas, or ask your questions or concerns in our FORUM section. I will be happy to help you!


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We are out on date nights without the kids
COUPLE DATING WITHOUT THE KIDS

"Dating helps to keep a marriage going strong after a couple has kids."


BUILDS INTIMACY LEVELS

I definitely understand what happens in our relationship as a couple after we had kids. We both became "busy" and in "awe" all at the same time. We initially tried to balance our previous dating habits by bringing our kids out with us everywhere we wanted to go when they were young.


However, that changed the older they got, and dating... well, it became almost non-existent. But whenever we got a chance to just get out and breathe without the kids, we had so much fun reminiscing and enjoying those times together.


I, therefore, do believe that if we try to make it more our norm instead of neglecting it, we will never lose that spark that we had before kids.



REMOVES MUNDANE

Mundane is that feeling where everything is just the same thing day in and day out, and just nothing new or spontaneous happening to break that feeling up.


I honestly hate mundane. I never liked it before and I sure don't like it now even with kids. However, I do see how we all can get into that "mundane" trap every now and again, which also affects our own relationships as couples.


Mundane takes away our joy and doesn't give us the feeling of happiness that we desire for ourselves and our lives.


So outside of doing family trips and vacations, we can also get pretty mundane in our own relationships from time to time again. Therefore dating brings back that spontaneity that spices things up a bit without the "mundane" feeling every now and again.


For ideas on fun dating activities that you can do as a couple, visit my blog post on:


FOSTERS COUPLE SELF-CARE

Self-care is not just for individuals, it's also for couples as well. Remember we are in unison as a couple so one person's self-care benefits the other person, and therefore doing things together to nourish that relationship as well is key.


Self-care for couples can be anything such as massage outings together, long walks in the park or at the beach, playing a game together, or having fun with, for example, couples' question cards. Anything that will help to bring much-needed laughter and joy into your relationship is key.



Married couples on the beach doing couples self-care
COUPLES SELF-CARE

Here is an example of a couples questions card that works for relationship building and spontaneity. There are so many options available on Amazon, so pick the one that is right for you and your spouse.





FOSTERS STRONG EMOTIONAL WELL-BEING

Have you ever noticed that when both of you are on the same page, you feel so much more at peace and fulfilled with each other, even if they "nag" you all the time?


It's because whenever you have that peace and well-being in your relationship as a couple, no matter what happens there's always that emotional bond in between that helps it to grow and survive.


A strong emotional well-being can help any couple to withstand any events life brings their way because of that wellness. Dating, I do believe helps to facilitate that strength and growth in any relationship.


If you are new to the scene as a couple that just had your first child, or even after having multiple kids, then I definitely recommend reading my blog post on:


FOSTERS HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS WITH KIDS

When mom and dad are happy with their relationship, it also trickles over to the family dynamics with the kids.


Building that foundation is key to ensuring unity with your spouse while the kids are around. They also do see that as children and whatever they observe will be beneficial for even their success later on as a couple in their own relationships.


It's therefore great to be able as parents to model that for them and to help them build their own confidence in their relationships with their future spouses also.


Did you find the strategies listed in this article helpful? What were some of your favorite tips? How have they worked for you? Leave a comment below, I’d love to know what you think.


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