What being a mom of boys taught me
Do you remember that popular song back in the 60s I believe that said "Boys will be boys!". I never imagined I would be saying that to myself every now and again and finally understanding that "boys, will be boys", no matter what.
Now that I have two boys of my own ages 5 and 6 (almost 7), I can really understand how different yet unique boys are.
So I decided to write about the lessons and challenges that I have learned so far in my parenting journey as a mom of boys.
Have you also learned anything about being a mom of boys? How has that been for you? Please feel free to also share your own ideas, or ask your questions or concerns in our FORUM section. I will be happy to help you!
"Understanding boys has made me a better mom at accepting their individuality."
BOYS ARE DIFFERENT
Boys are different from girls, and that's completely understandable. Acknowledging their differences will help a lot as a parent, especially if you have a girl. Boys are genetically different in every way from girls.
Boys are more playful and energetic, boys have to be given activities to keep them busy, and they just respond to things such as discipline differently.
Overall the goal is to understand their nature and to work around it as moms so that we can all be on the same team.
If you have little ones under the age of 6 years, read my blog post on:
BOYS NEED CONSTANT GUIDANCE
My boys are always asking me "what's next". I will give them something to do and as soon as I turn around to finish dinner or an errand, I hear, "mom what's next?"
Yes, it's true, boys do need a bit more guidance with their activities than girls do. Girls for the most part (I have 5 nieces that I can relate to) want to do their own thing. They tend to have a mind of their own and you really can't tell them what to do (it's just their nature).
Boys, on the other hand, have to be guided by giving them some ideas or activities to do so that they can continue to be active and not get easily bored, which brings me to my next point.
BOYS THRIVE IN BALANCE
Boys need balance! They do well when things are in balance. They tend to thrive best when they have a schedule that they can follow, otherwise, it gets really tricky trying to get them to co-operate when there is no balance.
What I mean by this is that they do like it when things are already figured out for them and they easily transition to those activities or plans quite well. Yes now and again, you may have to flip the schedule, but it does take some struggling trying to adjust when things are out of balance for them.
My boys do have a schedule that they tend to follow with less resistance such as their after-school activities. When they get home from school, they take a bath, do homework, do activity time, have dinner, and then it’s bedtime. Anytime I move from that, a bit of resistance and struggle for the most part occurs.
So it's best to always keep a schedule for them so that they will thrive better in their environment and will not fight you more with what they need to get done because it becomes a norm.
BOYS NEED OUTDOOR PLAY
Everybody needs outdoor play, even the girls, but the boys, need a lot of outdoor play. Let's confess, they are energetic, and it's a part of who they are. Therefore, as a mom, I have to help them to balance that energetic side with outdoor play which I believe is super helpful for their growth and development.
Outdoors enable them to explore their creative sides as well. Whether it's doing sporting activities, going to the park, or even playing in the backyard.
Boys thrive in these environments because they constantly need something to challenge them which outdoor play enables them to do.
Read my blog post for more information about outdoor living, especially with boys:
BOYS ARE ENERGETIC
Energetic and boys, go "hand in hand". Trying to sit still or play quietly is just not their thing, and that's ok.
They are energetic and it's quite normal for them to be that way. Therefore instead of trying to get them to cooperate, you may just have to meet them where they're at.
This can be done by providing activities that foster those interactions. Activities such as sports, games, and limited screen time to help them to manage their energy levels.
Also noticeable is their energy levels after a long day of activity, such as school. For some reason, it seems more in reverse than at the beginning of the day. Can you relate? It's like a huge burst of energy at the end of the day that I quite don't understand.
However, I do believe that the best way to help them with this surge is to get them to settle down by finding light activities that will keep them a lot more relaxed at the end of the day.
My suggestions are a nice bubble bath, storytime/reading a book, limited screen time (recommended 1 -2 hours before bed and no more than for an hour), or light activities, such as drawing, painting, or coloring.
For more information on my limited screen time tips, visit my blog post on:
BOYS HAVE EMOTIONS TOO
Sometimes as moms, including myself, we tend to see our boys as being more like the "less emotional ones" compared to girls.
We have this preconceived notion that boys shouldn't cry or express any form of emotion. Those things we may observe even in our own culture and sometimes embrace it ourselves.
But truth be told! Boys have emotions too, and dimming their emotions is not the answer. We have to teach them as moms, that it's absolutely ok to express their emotions and even cry too.
The best way to help boys through their emotions is to show them how to work through them instead of telling them the opposite, which is to “toughen up” and deal it with.
That help may involve asking them to talk it out and then together come up with ways on how to change them without being too unaware of their need to express their emotions.
Overall, I do hope that these observations, if you haven’t recognized them as yet with your boys will definitely shed some light on boys and their individuality.
Did you find the strategies listed in this article helpful? What were some of your favorite tips? How have they worked for you? Leave a comment below, I’d love to know what you think.
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