5 Tips on marriage preservation after having a baby

Updated: Feb 25

This is an important part of any relationship to preserve when a baby arrives. Moms can sometimes get soo caught up with the little ones ( i am so guilty) that they neglect their "first love" (or first kid). It's key however to factor in some "us" times without the baby in order to keep the spark in the relationship going. When daddy is happy, mommy is happy, and daddy will volunteer more easily to change some diapers or do night wakings (Good trade-off!).


What has it been like for you? Please feel free to share your own experiences or ask your questions or concerns in our FORUM section. I will be happy to help you!



Many relationship problems occur after a baby arrives that can potentially cause marriage woes and if not dealt with earlier on can put a strain on any marriage relationship.


A new baby requires more time and dedication along with additional stress that can bring its own problems. The key, however, is to acknowledge that this can happen but being prepared to handle it head-on can save a lot of the emotional strains and issues that can pop up later.


Here are 5 recommendations on keeping the 'fire' in your marriage going after having a baby.

“When daddy is happy, mommy is happy, and daddy will volunteer more easily to change some diapers or do night wakings (Good trade-off!)."

1. Call for help

I do understand that right after having a baby especially the first one, that you may be encaptivated by them and may not be so quick to hand them over to others. However be aware that by the time the second one appears, you will be quick to hand them over to anyone who will have them. Are Grandparents, aunts, siblings, or any friends available? Do give them bonding time with the baby and hit the road for some needed time together. This will create a community or environment of people that can really help you whenever you need them, in order to give you both some time alone.


Getting a nanny who is experienced with child care is another option to consider as well for needed date nights.


Another option is to do "day-nights". That is the option of having dates in the daytime while your child may be at daycare. Take a vacation day off and utilize it to have some time together at the gym, spa, etc.


2. Utilize nap and sleeping times

Let's face it, I love when the baby takes a nap because that means I can get a break as well. If both are available during that time, use it for your benefit in order to snag some alone time together to catch a quick movie, have dinner together, cuddle, etc.


A tip that I have utilized over time is keeping your child on a routine schedule. Start to establish a routine early in your children and you will thank me later. Routine is key especially in children because it helps them to cope when things are more organized than the latter, as I have found in my own situation. My kids are on a daily routine that I stick with it even on the weekends.


This will really keep you organized especially when it comes to the needed time for bonding with your spouse. My kids, for example, have nap time scheduled for 8 pm and by 8:30 pm or 9 pm, both are usually asleep. That gives me the time after they fall asleep to bond with hubby before bed or vice versa depending on my sleep schedule. Let's face it... it can be pretty tricky in the beginning to do this with a newborn, however after you have established a routine, it gets a lot easier.