Updated: Sep 1, 2021
Moms work 24 HOURS in a day if you ask me. We are always on the run whether we are a working mom or a stay-at-home mom. It seems like there is never enough time in the day to get everything on our pre-fabricated mental CHECKLIST accomplished.
However, it does not have to be this way. We were never made to be ROBOTS. So how do we survive PARENTING?
Here are my 10 SELF-CARE tips that you can utilize to ensure that you have a "peace of mind". Because if mommy isn’t happy, nobody is!
Have you also found any tips that you could share? Please feel free to add to my list, or ask your questions or concerns in our FORUM section. I would be happy to help you!
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“Get rid of the pre-fabricated mental checklist. You're not a robot!"
1. KNOW YOUR IDENTITY
Who are you? Do you work well with others, or are you a lone ranger? Are you adventurous or prefer a more relaxed lifestyle?
Knowing who you are is the first step in the game of survival in Parenting. When you do know yourself, you are more likely to schedule your activities or priorities around what keeps you relaxed and feeling accomplished, more than what gets you really upset.
Trying to eliminate your stress triggers by knowing who you are as much as possible is key to maintaining a good balance and positive flow in your life when you have kids. Children come with more responsibility and a greater need for time and attention and therefore balancing that with your tolerance level will decrease much more of your fights with your children on a daily basis.
For example, prior to having kids, I enjoyed lots of quiet time, which included going for nature walks whenever I could. After having children, I didn't give up on what I liked doing, but instead, I tied it in with my need for quiet time perfectly by going for walks with my children.
Whatever works for you, try to find that balance as well and just do your best in every situation. The more peaceful and calm you are, the better it is for your family and especially your children.
2. PERFECTION IS NOT A REQUIREMENT
Where did this word come from? Perfection is not expected of you. Parenting is a growing process of hills and valleys, highs and lows. That means expect the unexpected and just live each day as it comes.
Do not try to plan ahead of what your kids should be like, do, or even say. There is always an opportunity for growth and adjustment as you move forward in life.
Therefore throw any form of PERFECTIONISM (I am guilty of this) through the window and just enjoy the process. Let your kids be kids and do not be too strict or routine with everything because you will likely pull your hair out at the end of the day when everything didn't go according to plan.
Also depending on the stage in life that you are parenting, whether toddlers or the teen years, do be mindful that some require more flexibility, especially the younger ones. They are not going to handle a routine well. They want to play and go for walks etc.
So be flexible with the process. If your toddler is experiencing a morning drag, you may have to switch up your schedule and do morning walks for example before going into learning.
I have had to pull out the early morning swim class several times to just have them a bit more relaxed. Do what you have to do and work with them. Just like adults, sometimes we are in a good mood and sometimes not so much, but expect the same for your children.
For some the processing of emotions may take some time, while for others, they just want to be heard. See what stage you are in the process and work with it.
3. STRESS IS A NO-NO
What is the point of stressing anyway? Does it add an extra day to your life? Absolutely not!
Stress is more likely to rob your peace of mind worrying unnecessarily about things that you may or may not be able to change. If you find yourself in a stressful position then know it is time to walk away and re-think your life’s purpose and priorities.
When you are in balance... so will they be. Instead of getting to that stressful point as I mentioned earlier in my blog post, find ways to deviate the stress levels by breaking away into activities that are less stressful.
For example, going for a walk or doing a fun activity with the kids. That helps to tone down the stress levels a lot and you will be doing something both you and your children will enjoy doing together.
Check out my blog post on the Benefits of self-care as a mom and why it is relevant to our survival as moms.
4. TAKE DAILY ADULT TIME-OUT
Yes, I said it! If kids can get a time out, sign me up for one as well. Sometimes it can get overwhelming, being a parent. We too need a moment to re-focus even if it’s just for 5 minutes.
This time can help you to relax, breathe, and then re-surface later. The more time you allow yourself, the better you're able to clear your mind to accomplish more. Take a moment out of your day and just breathe, relax, meditate, etc.
Give your child something fun to do and take the moment as well to relax. Whatever you need to do to just clear away any stressors for the moment or even the day.
I can relate to this so much that I even designed a Mommy Inspired Mug that you can find in my store to remind you to just take the time to relax.
Also, visit my blog post on A Mom in need of a TIME-OUT for more ideas on ways that you can take the time needed in order to stay balanced.
5. UPLIFTING MUSIC
Music is always a great way to bring ease and much-needed clarity or relaxation as you go throughout your day.
Listen to music that calms your soul and gives you a sense of peace. Even if the dishes are piled high to the roof, or the kids are screaming at you, it will let the day seem much more tolerable.
Turn the music on while doing the laundry and just dance if you have to. The happier you are, the better you are at handling anything that comes your way, when it comes to children.
When I started journaling, I was amazed at what it did for me. Journaling for you can mean anything. For example, writing to God, writing poetry, writing to your kids. Whatever you choose to write about is completely up to you.
Writing ultimately has a way of releasing frustration and offers a sense of peace and purpose. You can even try a Gratitude journal for example and write down all the things that you are grateful for. It reminds you of the many things to be thankful for instead of all the negative things that may have occurred throughout your day.
Some parents also like to journal about their kids as they grow, so as to give them a keepsake of their journey when they are older. Whatever is your passion or desire, just write about it. You will be amazed at what it can do.
Whether it is the gym, walking, hiking, bike-riding, I tend to find that these activities keep parents happier, less stressed, and more productive in getting through parenting more energized.
Find an activity that is more a joy to do than actually something you dread, otherwise you will not do it. If Zumba classes are way more enjoyable than the gym, then sign up for that.
Some moms may be able to go walking early in the morning before the kids wake up, or even do a family walk late in the evening before bedtime.
Whatever you are comfortable with and also based on your schedule, try to make time for at least one exercise activity.
Whether at a local outreach center, orphanage, church, etc. is really a great way to feel more rewarding about life and your own responsibilities as a parent.
When you give back it creates a sense of gratitude that gives you peace knowing that hey there may be others out there who are not as fortunate as you are.
Finding the time to helps others let you even appreciate more the blessings that you have in your life. Therefore whenever you may feel the need to complain about anything, in particular, you are reminded of another person's situation and you become more appreciative of your own.
There are days when I just want to scream if I may not have accomplished most of what I had planned. But I have to remind myself time and time again to just brush it off, find the happiness in the time spent with my children and just laugh.
To help you to release much frustration as possible, find the most enjoyable things about the day and focus on that instead of the negative.
For example, our nature walk with the kids was fun even though I may not have completed the math homework due. Give yourself a BREAK! Today may have not been so perfect but joy still comes in the morning. Get up and try again the next day!
10. ORGANIZED SCHEDULING
Have a more organized less-packed schedule with a task that you are more likely to accomplish. It is far better than having a ridiculous schedule that frustrates you and chances are, you will never get it done anyway.
A simple schedule sets the tone for your day and keeps you more on pace and targeted to get more things accomplished in your day. Being organized is key to becoming more effective as a parent.
Organization sets the stage for great productivity, especially with kids around. Get tools that can help to make the organization easier for you.
The more organized you become, the better it is for you to manage your time well and get more work accomplished.
Planners also offer a great way to keep organized as busy moms. There are different planners available for anything that you can think of. Check out my Mommy Inspired Planner!
Post-it Notes are also a great way to have reminders jotted down. Get different colors so that you can personalize them to specific activities. For instance, blue for work/business related, red for grocery/shopping, etc. Have a few stacks around as well so that you can have reminders readily available to get your day going.
If you are like me and would like to have a visual reminder, get a whiteboard and jot reminders down on it. I have missed enough doctor's appointments to know the importance of having a visual reminder somewhere.
If you need help with meal planning, then check out my Mommy Inspired Meal Planner - Bonus Toddler Meal Plan) to help you get started.
For even more ways to help you on your parenting journey, visit my blog post on Overcoming the hurdles and struggles of motherhood.
Did you find the strategies listed in this article helpful? What were some of your favorite tips? How have they worked for you? Leave a comment below, I’d love to know what you think.
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