Updated: Oct 24, 2020
Moms work 24 HOURS in a day if you ask me. We are always on the run whether we are a working mom or a stay-at-home mom. It seems like there is never enough time in the day to get everything on our pre-fabricated mental CHECKLIST accomplished. However, it does not have to be this way. We were never made to be ROBOTS. So how do we survive PARENTING? Here are my 10 SELF-CARE tips you can utilize to ensure that you have a "peace of mind". Because if mommy isn’t happy, nobody is! What has your experience been? Please feel free to ask your questions or concerns in our FORUM section. I would be happy to help you!
“Get rid of the pre-fabricated mental checklist. You're not a robot!"
1. KNOW YOUR IDENTITY
Who are you? Do you work well with others, or are you a lone ranger? Are you adventurous or prefer a more relaxed lifestyle? Knowing who you are is the first step in the game of survival in Parenting. When you do know yourself, you are more likely to schedule your activities or priorities around what keeps you relaxed and feeling accomplished, more than what gets you really upset. Trying to eliminate your stress triggers by knowing who you are as much as possible is key to maintaining a good balance and positive flow in your life when you have kids. Children come with more responsibility and a greater need for time and attention and therefore balancing that with your tolerance level will decrease much more of your fights with your children on a daily basis. For example, prior to having kids, I enjoyed lots of quiet time, which included going for nature walks whenever I could. After having children, I didn't give up on what I liked doing, but instead, I tied it in with my need for quiet time perfectly by going for walks with my children. Whatever works for you, try to find that balance as well and just do your best in every situation. The more peaceful and calm you are, the better it is for your family and especially your children.
2. PERFECTION IS NOT A REQUIREMENT
Where did this word come from? Perfection is not expected of you. Parenting is a growing process of hills and valleys, highs and lows. That means expect the unexpected and just live each day as it comes. Do not try to plan ahead of what your kids should be like, do, or even say. There is always an opportunity for growth and adjustment as you move forward in life. Therefore throw and form of PERFECTIONISM (I am guilty of this) through the window and just enjoy the process. Let your kids be kids and do not be too strict or routine with everything because you will likely pull your hair out at the end of the day when everything didn't go according to plan. Also Depending on the stage in life that you are parenting, whether toddlers or the teen years, do be mindful that some require more flexibility, especially the younger ones. They are not going to handle a routine well. They want to play and go for walks etc. So be flexible with the process. If your toddler is experiencing a morning drag, you may have to switch up your schedule and do morning walks for example before going into learning. I have had to pull out the early morning swim class several times to just have them a bit more relaxed. Do what you have to do and work with them. Just like adults, sometimes we are in a good mood and sometimes not so much, but expect the same for your children. For some the processing of emotions may take some time, while for others, they just want to be heard. See what stage you are in the process and work with it.
3. STRESS IS A NO-NO
What is the point of stressing anyway? Does it add an extra day to your life? Absolutely not! Stress is more likely to rob your peace of mind worrying unnecessarily about things that you may or may not be able to change. If you find yourself in a stressful position then know it is time to walk away and re-think your life’s purpose and priorities. When you are in balance... so will they be. Instead of getting to that stressful point as I mentioned earlier in my blog post, find ways to deviate the stress levels by breaking away into activities that are less stressful. For example, going for a walk or doing a fun activity with the kids. That helps to tone down the stress levels a lot and you will be doing something both you and your children will enjoy doing together.
4.TAKE DAILY ADULT TIME-OUT
Yes, I said it! If kids can get a time out, sign me up for one as well. Sometimes it can get overwhelming, being a parent. We too need a moment to re-focus even if it’s just for 5 minutes. This time can help you to relax, breathe, and then re-surface later. The more time you allow yourself, the better you're able to clear your mind to accomplish more. Take a moment out of your day and just breathe, relax, meditate, etc. Give your child something fun to do and take the moment as well to relax. Whatever you need to do to just clear away any stressors for the moment or even the day. I can relate to this so much that I even designed a Mommy Inspired Mug that you can find in my store to remind you to just take the time to relax.